Yeah no. Yeah no. That’s not an answer to my question, that’s the start of every answer they give. Sure, I can’t expect them to be Shakespeare-esque, but make it make sense at least. Does their media training go no further than “Don’t swear”? It’s reasonable that the media chases interviews with them when you consider the billions of pounds involved in the sport, but after hearing a few of them, when does reason turn to insanity?
We don’t gain any insight into the managers tactics or leadership skills, other than “I’ve got a new position”, “He’s given me confidence” or “He’s galvanised the group”. We don’t gain a glimpse into the cutting edge strength and conditioning program that’s helped them, just “I’ve been working really hard”. We don’t gain any idea of the scale of emotions they experience playing on such a stage, only that they’re “buzzing” or “massively disappointed”. And then of course, at some stage, it’s hammered home that “3 points is all that matters” whether they got them or not.
It doesn’t matter how many viewers fall asleep during them, or how many throw a crisp at the Sky box when the presenter halts a Roy Keane rant to cut to “The man who scored the winning goal” to hear his thoughts on the match (likely “buzzing” and “pleased to get the 3 points”). The interviews aren’t going away. So exactly when will the interviewers start asking the questions that the viewers at home actually want asked…
“Do your toes hurt squished in those tight boots?”
“Are the stadium lights ever too bright?”
“How often do you graze your knees?”
Etc…
It’s about time they did some real journalism.
Regardless of the truth, I’ve no doubt I’ll still watch the odd one when the season returns, on the off chance one of players fighting relegation says the lads all think the manager is a pillock.
Poem | Score Draw
“Do you think it’s a fair result?”
The striker said no.
“Do you feel you were the better team?”
The striker said yes.
“What’s the manager said to you in the dressing room?”
The striker said that the bus leaves in half an hour.
“Is it important to pick yourself up for the next game?”
The striker said probably not if he was on the bench again.
The poor sod hadn’t even got on.
Henry Mulligan 
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